$5,000? Agatha Trunchbull: The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. NIGEL lies down on the ground. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". Jenny : Quite the contrary. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. A bell rings. MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. Good Lord, woman, have you started already? Matilda: . . MRS WORMWOOD WOMAN: That's right, honey. Agatha Trunchbull: MR WORMWOOD Leave it alone, Jenny. Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. What's the matter, Bogtrotter? Get the hell outta here! MATILDA What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships? Bruce! MRS WORMWOOD I believe that . Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST google_color_border="EDC7C2"; Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. Yes. I wonder why they didn't just change their story. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! You useless, used-car-salesman scum! "Escapologist", he says! Right. Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! We all get carried away sometimes. MATILDA MATILDA stands at the front of the stage as her classmates walk in and the desks rise from the ground. Mrs. Wormwood: They never stood a chance. Bye-bye, sir. [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] Bruce! . Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant! [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. LAVENDER I always compete, doctor. 4. abilities. I mean, it's got to hurt, all squished in there. MATILDA Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? MISS HONEY Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, MRS PHELPS Now, that is how you do it! . If I let this little girl fall? % Please! MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. Hup, two, four, free. It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. This is the cottage from your story. If I give the crowd their money back, where is my profit?! Special guest towards the end. Bye, Mrs Phelps! 9. Yes! Are you being smart with me? Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. Oh, yeah. The couples and the children overlap the next two verses, as children split themselves among five couples and execute rote choreography. Bruce 'Little Brucey: Forgotten, by everyone except, that is [She pulls her coat over her head.] [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. They're the bane of my life. Qui mon fella Italiano. . Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. Nicholas Nickleby . Jenny : Not as brave as you. . Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". But wrong. BIG KID [BEN] That's right, honey, look at mummy. And you won't be getting "right" there, oh no. . Dosvedoo-dah. Here. . Go on, Brucey! Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. Eat. And I shall crush you. MISS HONEY This living 'ell. Filthy, nasty things. Right. Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. She holds the hat out to him. MISS TRUNCHBULL . Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. And . Yourself, Matilda? Well, then stop her reading! MR WORMWOOD Stop. It's from the library! When she was just two years old, her mother died. Yes, Miss Trunchbull. MATILDA 7. Zinnia Wormwood: And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. What are you waiting for? If you always take it on the chin and wear it, MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. MATILDA Can you service me? [hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda] You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, Quite the contrary. Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. You're only four years old. MISS TRUNCHBULL No! LAVENDER Well, Matilda Wormwood. Ha, ha, ha, ha Harry Wormwood: [He laughs.] A really strong stomach. [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] I'm telling you, I didn't do it! But I'm a barrelina What am doing here? [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. FBI Agent Bob: You don't let me talk to people! One times two is two. I'm not crying because it's sad. Matilda Wormwood: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. Ow! [appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob] The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. WOMAN: Well, take another! The condition is characterised by the sufferer experiencing bouts of chronic fatigue, and falling suddenly asleep, often without knowing, or any warning at all. You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. Mr. Wormwood: Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. That is the biggest hug in the world. ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] MISS TRUNCHBULL I'm the best! I'm sorry, doctor. Of course I am. We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Zinnia Wormwood: You're the spitting image. [on the phone, yells] It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. Tricks!" For men. Jack and Jill went up the hill That kids like me should be against the law. RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. Her mind is incredible. The secret to my success is this. BIG KID [BEN] So you're Wormwood, are you? Boys and girls! Wormwood! Mrs. Wormwood: Miss Honey: A boy with no fingie? Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? What about the Russians? They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO The most common thing in life is life . This boy's got no fingie. What am I gonna do? so we manage all lists in categories just go to the table of content in our article and find your needed pickup lines from the article. . Pathetic, little me. They're individual! FBI Agent Bill: COUPLES 21. Ladies and gentlemen! [talks to the woman librarian] What is this, a hot tub party? [she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her]. She went on olden-day sailing ships with Joseph Conrad. Harry Wormwood: Is it time for school yet, mum? Eleven times two is twenty-two. It's a good thing I have my library. Jul 25, - Barney Stinson's Harry Potter pick up lines. Million $ Sticky Host: LAVENDER Don't be pathetic! Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. MISS HONEY is browsing the stacks. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. I'm not paying it. I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! My mummy says I'm a miracle, There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle My hands are tied. But I've got a baby! MRS PHELPS CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. DOCTOR It is, is it? MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. The cars will break down. Trunchbull: But nobody else is gonna put it right for me. She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. MISS TRUNCHBULL You? Is it some modern miracle of calculus They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . OLDER KIDS The other dancers and judges exit, leaving MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in a dramatic position. I mean, what else? I've got a whole house to look after! You'd better hide! A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! Look at this. Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . Wonderful. I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! What do you think might be the cause of this? MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. MATILDA How can I make up my own pickup line? Like you, I was curious, Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. Fortunately, almost everything in Christianity is sin. It was the biggest burp I had ever done. Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! You What? These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. MR WORMWOOD BIG KIDS All right. MATILDA Check it if you don't believe me. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. %PDF-1.5 As long as you dont know it with the volume up. Just knock on the door . You gotta be loud! This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. That's not fair! He's part Italian, you know. In fact, it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. This calls for a proper smoke. Even time loves us.". Zinnia Wormwood: My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. Ahh! No, not there! Because you're pretty darn sweet. MISS HONEY to the rules. Like hell! Harry Wormwood: A few! Well, this crime took place before school started. . MISS TRUNCHBULL runs in, blowing on her whistle, and chases ERIC down until he is pulled into formation by two BIG KIDS. Write this down. If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage. [He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is]. And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. [realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt], [Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house]. MISS HONEY Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. You cannot see squat . He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] What was my profit for the day? Not yet, anyway. MRS WORMWOOD Trunchbull: It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. MR WORMWOOD Amanda Thripp: In . Oh, er, hello. Matilda : I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. BIG KIDS MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. Did I let myself go. Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . What are you talking about? BRUCE MRS PHELPS An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. But this little girl . Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, I love my school it isn't fair! MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! Harry Wormwood: It's . Quite a long way, I think. Hat seems to be, er . It's just a door. MISS HONEY What've you done with his fingie? Oh, parle Italiano? MRS WORMWOOD To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. BRUCE . . Sued by who? CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. I'm great! Just you wait for phys-ed. Trunchbull: A DOCTOR enters. What is your name? . Matilda, that . Your mommy is a TWIT! What we all suspected. Agatha Trunchbull: [walking out of the room excitedly] And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? Does that mean I can get that new TV? MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] They're all mistakes, children! And I'm very sorry . Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. You have a worm, She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] If you sit around and let them get on top, you A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. The dumber the act, the bigger the confession. But here it is, coming true: And even if you could, BIG KIDS Don't be disgusting! If you sit around and let them get on top, you Come stai? No, it's a library book! A party entertainer enters with balloons. It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! You oughtn't blame yourself now, come along. . Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Mrs. Wormwood: One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. [to MISS HONEY] You don't! You really don't know anything, do you? [She stands and approaches MISS HONEY menacingly, towering over her.] MRS PHELPS Mrs. ], MISS HONEY <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Agatha Trunchbull: Harry Wormwood: Crowd! Don't be pathetic! What kind of society would that be? [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. He's eaten it all. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. Agatha Trunchbull: RD.com. You should stay out of trouble Mr. Wormwood: Trunchbull: Amanda Thripp: 6. Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. MR WORMWOOD Has my daddy told ya Why? Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. Good heavens. . My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished. Agatha, This is Magnus. What is it? so I pick it up and - No! If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. But I didn't do anything. MATILDA Harry Wormwood: He's over there, under those coats. If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. The desks descend into the ground. No excuse, Bruce. Don't take me to Chokey! ], MISS HONEY [into recorder] And that's not a hint, by the way. MISS TRUNCHBULL 6. And it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world. the Acrobat's sister. I'm fed up with all this reading! . Innocent victims of their story. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. Hey, Dip face. The school bell rings and all the children march out. MISS HONEY MATILDA The apple never rots far from the tree! Extra strong. Soundtracks, hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda, after listing prices of cars bought and sold, he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda, Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves, Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby, mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone, everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in, strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward, whacks the desk again with her riding crop, Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house, grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist, suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand, Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. You can't. Just because you find that life's not fair, it MISS TRUNCHBULL ". [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. The Wormwoods laugh. Who is this, babe? . . 'Pfffft,' you think, 'what's so grand about some silly math pick-up line?' I . . MRS WORMWOOD . . Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. . In . Agatha Trunchbull: If you sit around and let them get on top, you She's reading a book. I live in a cage, Harry! Dance competition's over. This child doesn't have a "thingie" . And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. PICK UP LINES! The library? But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up You're supposed to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry! Oh, Matilda! Trivia They're trying to scare us. . Oh, cook . Yes. The sooner you're locked up in that school, the better. Why? Cake. Whoa! Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. I'm the best! Are you listening? It's out of the question. 3 0 obj MRS WORMWOOD [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] And . When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! Matilda: Agatha Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD And it's made of spikes and wood. . [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. You have just made a very big mistake. To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. MATILDA But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. She's got no respect, that one. 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. Six times two is twelve. A fool? Agatha Trunchbull: She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. MISS HONEY You see, unfortunately, Nigel suffers from the rare, but chronic sleep disorder, narcolepsy. She starts the video screens playing again. My daddy says I'm a bore. [TV Version] Get on with it. This living 'eLl. . You're just wasting energy, Mr. Wormwood: TOMMY . MRS WORMWOOD People don't like smarty-pants what go 'round Yes. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Some rats are gonna die today. Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. There's nothing to fear. Harry Wormwood: Do you think I altered my intended elevation? I'm incredible! From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. MRS WORMWOOD Michael: But it's a truth empirical. I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). Please! This is the worst day of my life! What car? 3. [She murmurs along to the music.] [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. Each newborn life a canvas yet unpainted, It's a library book! Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. MR WORMWOOD [to MRS WORMWOOD] Would you please shut up? It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! . MR WORMWOODLook what I've just found! RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. Good show. That's not fair at all! Oh, of course. So she's learned a few tricks. MATILDA [He laughs then peters out.] The police decided he killed himself. 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. Why would you want green hair? He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. That is v . With her, it's all "books" and "stories". MRS WORMWOOD walks out from behind the curtain, heavily pregnant. BRUCE MISS TRUNCHBULL The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. That's the bananas right there. Now, can anyone read this? You don't use sympathy or tenderness. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. Very supple. And Jenny's outside. . In this classroom, in this school, I am god! She hates it when I go out. I chose looks! Tess of the D'urbervilles . Trunchbull: Stand up and be proud! Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. Michael: I'll tell you tomorrow. It's Miss Honey. It's not mine! DOCTOR . Harry Wormwood: Am I wrong? Harry Wormwood: Oh, I look nice. I can see But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. And so you think you're able Trunchbull: You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. My daddy says I'm his special little guy. RUDOLPHO "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. Mine are driving me crazy. Please. Wait, Dad, you're going too fast. Others take a less emotional approach. "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. (Bruce!) And therefore, she is guilty! MATILDA Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: [turns to Michael] 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. No kid likes being yelled at. Absolute silence. But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. Trunchbull: But learning a language is over the top . What can I do? Trunchbull: It was the age of wisdom . See who wins. You gotta get up and be loud! . Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? . MR WORMWOOD Stop being pathetic, Jenny. WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? Ah-ah-aah-ah As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! I can see we're not going to agree, are we? Agatha Trunchbull: Oh, my lovely hair! MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume.