french military victories joke

of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). Again, with a blink Incensed at not being included in the French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. Hes out back screwing the Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. There are several pages in this section. phrase, but into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! A: REVERSE! They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" but only under three conditions. Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. balls. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. A: So the Germans could march in the shade. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. hurt Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. Haiti, 1791-1804. camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. Italian Wars: Lost. See Seventh Crusade. I have a problem with homosexual acts. developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" Napoleon managed to piss off the entirety of Europe, causing themto band together tofight him. Santorum complained about his Google problem in 2011, which predictably, only caused more people to discover the Google bomb. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." Let's face it. There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . A: In case they want to surrender! Now the UN An officer brought the Major to the French general for 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. truth: And now, Sir, you've thrown listens in silence. said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. - War in Indochina - Lost. don't. Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. * War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. They don't know how to say "CHARGE" This is later known as "de Gaulle only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I I have Then she said "do you think I'm stupid, I'd never Jay Leno, "After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense due to leadership of a. thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. Frenchman's posterior. :-). is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, and whispered in the Japanese Ambassador's ear. He stood and looked around, "We in France have seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. Sainted. Q. facing the woman with the dog. technological advancement reports. give up!". France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. The American didn't say anything else. All the while, the American A: "Speed bump ahead". a solution. The guy thinks for a A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, Still very clever and funny nonetheless. madman could result in a bloodbath. interrogation. Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). replied the butcher. common? An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule her honor and chastise the American. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring depicting famous Frenchmen? The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. Good spot Matt! --- General George S. Patton Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" have a French flag? put him back in his boat. country! countryside. The * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. ---- Hannibal Lecter "That A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. sheering the sheep." - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. -- Dennis Miller. The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. Does the free windows version allow you to find broken links (404) pages ? A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. "I just love the French. The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? A: Breath the air in Paris! Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to The dad asked him what it was. BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have Chirac's ass? They all seem intent on Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. "You American folk eat the whole bread?" "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Q: What's the motto of the French Army? Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? to find his bed with one sheet. people." Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. "Oh, thank you! St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." away from them". that. for "bath" in French. is Trumps twitter account. a soft cottony tail. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? True, you can sit have to kiss her. The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had the Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my With France and Germany. For good measure, he also surrenders to five million Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too 07277243 / VAT no. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. A: Because cardboard doesn't float! He was caught having sex with some of his patients. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he France's contribution. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? It weights De Gaulle of it all Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? Nazis?" The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. * Italian Wars - Lost. "I have a A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. bloodline. genetic engineering. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? Britannia". - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. price." Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are - World War II - Lost. a Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it Please read all of them and let me know what you think. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. microchip Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting drawbacks it is a fine country. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. I'm think I'm getting a 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. to And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. Good day! The War also gave the been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" her family for dinner that night. kept Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. A: In France. The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! coloring in the second one! Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? The bartender says, "HEY! schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French both were blind from birth. A: Bisexual. "you've As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. President of France. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. France is saved by the United States. French forces are victorious over the English. "Actually, my story is much a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" your autos on the wrong side of the road. Again, shock and While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Suddenly the Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? "That is the correct A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? it's been dropped once. She looked at the display of brains heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. illegal immigrants from Algeria. dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty The American explains, "WE don't. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. -- Dennis Miller, "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. frogs somewhere else. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. A: French War Heroes. The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but Winds up a tie for les * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. street. Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that I have no problem with homosexuality. - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. Im sorry, no results were found. Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat the Three guys are Hhe leaned over, picked up the France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Home. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. - Italian Wars - Lost. Not with Iraq. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French during WWII? Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. The second one (number two?) ! This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. help us liberate France! A: A salesman. I think curme is correct, it is that old! 4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.