All I know is that I've been assuming one thing while the person in charge has been assuming a completly different thing. My calculator is nifty. When you look at them they are identical to the evil little Cheez-Its. The single greatest invention of the computer gods. I gave him cupcakes, and presents, and did everything I could to befriend him! We thank you! Who would have thought I have this much free time? I HAVE POWERS PINTO BEANS CAN ONLY DREAM OF! It tooked about envelooping (enveloping) cracked nuts and parables. Woooo! I'm sure some so called "scientist" can prove all my theories wrongbut how? Number Seven: I could drive people crazy. Unfortunalty, several of those reasons LEGITAMITLY apply to a certain activity I do every Tuesday, which WILL NOT BE NAMED HERE LEST I GIVE IT POWER OVER ME! You say it didn't let you out? | 14.35 KB, We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. We think. Imagine a number line that points in the positive and negative direction. SHE has to get up at 6:11 to put on make-up, do her hair and basically annoy the heck out of me. does not, has never, and will absolutly NOT admit to having any weaknessbesides the aformention indivduals own skin, which isn't even a weakness anyway since no representative of the Dark, Fluffier Side can BE the Patron Saint of Paperclips (Guess, whononoTHAT'S IT!) But my idiotic body has an automatic alarm clock, or something. I was bored, and a dilligent reader suggested I make fake commercials, sotherer they are. You cannot deny it. Just like a real psychologist. But it's all good. ALWAYS. They're disgusting, bland and definitly not made of cheez, whatever that is. Obviously not. Because in some world, the video game is real. (may the moose be with you) And now I am back. Typical. Some even go so far as to claim that Kodak "changed" the pictures of the assasination to make an assasination in the bushes become a tree's shadow. Now, you may be wondering what is so terrifying about a small, white, feather. That meant that my mother would be in the back, with me and my younger, eviler sister. Big Brother may be listening right now so I beter go. That sounds good, too. 44 min ago And the plan would have failed and Neo might have died, along with a large portion of the city (the building was set to blow if there was any intruders) SoNeo's choice to attempt to save Trinity triggered the sequence of events that led to her death. Should you refuse to aknowledge the Patron Saint of Paper Clips as the ruler of the Internet, you will be subjected to punishment as stated in Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook (i.e. dont you know that you only need be afraid of fear and never anything here and certainly not a post that acts like a ghost? Sowhen the weekend rolls around, I'm fairly exhausted. I felt more fufilled when this site was a barren wastland of useless space. That made little sense. But I can't help but think of stuff like the evil over lord list and REALLY REALLY BIG BUTTON THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. OrI could just continue to write about finding a topic. HEEEEY! CEASE YOUR FLATULENT WINDS AND HEAR MY MIND NUMBING EXPULSIONS OF WICKED NOISE! Sometimes I crack myself up. You could be the figment of someone else's dream. Similarly, it also displays the longest word used in the text. Out loud. Or maybe you're just skimming. That's the rant of the week, month, year, whatever. Aren't I special? Everything is fine. In the beginning of the movie, Neo is having dreams about Trinity's death. I don't think there actually are any. WHAT!? TWO MILES? This has been a weird day. Sign Up , it unlocks many cool features! While you wait for yesterday's tomorrow, lunge back and remember that day. What makes them undesirable for pie? Cheese is watching. Here goes. "Pure" water manufactuerers are not required to list the ingredients of water, because the average consumer believes that it should be obvious. So, fellow conspiracy nuts: Take down the evil governmental safety device and take it apart. Every single person you know could just be figments of your imagination, you could even be in a crazy house! I'm fairly certain she knows it's not alive, though. I mean, I KNOW people are coming hereI have proof! When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. Now, I'm sure you've at least heard of subliminal messages , right? Am I enjoying asking retorical questions? These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. I don't mean to insult you if you DO have a tan. Hmmmmgood question. Which is what I'm about to do. Random people will think they've gone crazy, after a seemingly innocent visit to the zoo. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. I should be asleep. Food industires would be buying cars, gas and music. Pastebin.com is the number one paste tool since 2002. ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny-rabbit wants to rule the world. Wal-mart TV is evil. One person, started typing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue typing it forever just because this is the list that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some person started typing it notetc, etc. Apparantly my standards of weird have gone up. I mean, after all, I made this site. That's just how many times you have to click before you can leave. For, you seemy life long goal has been fufilled*anticipatory silence*THERE ACTUALLY IS GRAPE PIE!!!! It'd be like when you go to the bottom of the ocean, only with gravity instead of pressure*shudders* Pressure is evil, too. World's largest sentence. Why on earth did they keep the monkey? Otherwise, why on earth (beta, krpto, zkdjf, Planet X, whatever) would you be here? Which I suppose may be a good thing, seeing as how I'm currently in a Longest Text Ever Rivalry with Galaxy Dreamer's site. What does it sound like? They could do anything they wanted to, if they just put their minds to it. But, if you expect something and get something you feel nothing. Just like everyone else in my family. Today I will be mercifully brief. 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In return for not taking the easy route, he gains a power in the more or less real world. Now sure, I could have won more than 500 at some game in which you don't have to pay to play. Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. Two and a half hours of homework (total) to be precise. What a good idea! Okay. There's even a money back guarantee. My little, eviler sister got her ears pierced when she was relativly younger. But then, I'm meand you're you. Anyway, I still don't think that anyone is actually coming here. I'm back. I needs the duct tape! These so-called "pointless" signs are doing just what they were meant to do: entertain you! Why can't I? But I can't think of anything to write about. On almost all the "purified" water bottles I've ever seen it has the following mesage: "Purified through reverse osmosis. Too bad. It's hard to type because of the bandaid on my finger. It's not fair. Seeya. HenceforthCode: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. Yep. Okay, now I'm starting to scare myselfI'm gonna quit for today. Waithowhow can I BE logic? According to my theory that everything is real. First of all, you'd have to have an extrodinary amount of free time. We could call ourselves TACO! It's about the (supposedly) infinite nature of the universe. You wanna play that way. A man has been recorded spending more than three hours to pronounce what is supposedly the longest word in the English language . On the way home, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother predicatably decided that we had to go back and eat at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ice cream place. Neo is told that he has two choices. That's why I like fast-food salt. Thank you Squirell. Guess what? You expect far to much of the inanimate world. I'll just go on and on about how crazy you COULD be. I made a virtual pet for it. I've been playing one of the new neopets slot machines (black pawkeet). With knowledge you can win money and the opportunity to look like a dork on national television. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. : I've had this nagging fear that I am part of some random but vast conspiracy (about what I'm not sure but it must be vast). While she writes every day, shes also devoted to her own creative outletEmma hand-draws illustrations and is currently learning 2D animation. And I'm willing to enlighten you, the potentially you-know-what reader. Jonathan Coe's new novel - The Rotters' Club - contains a sentence of 13,955 words. Ooooooo! Otherwise, I guess you're stuck with me. The PSOA have been whole-heartedly working for you, and what have you done for them? May your day be shiney! I mean, who'd a thought? It means that WAL-MART TV IS EVIL! The little counter at the bottom keeps going up? Yeaha topic would be good. My entire family is weird. I just keep going, and going and going. Behind the Scenes: How the British Library Digitizes One of the Worlds Biggest Books, View Leonardo Da Vincis Notebooks Online and Go Inside the Mind of a Genius, Library Places 1,600+ Occult Books Online With Help From The Da Vinci Code Author, 20+ Creative Gifts for People Who Love to Read. RANDOM PERSON: You don't say? Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. Wooooooo! I'm back. A complete and total degregation of our societies values. The best way to be brief is to quit now. OOooooo! UnfortunantlyI must leavebefore the confusion spreads and I do something stupidlike revealing my one weakness before youTHAT'S IT! paste . Today's rant is a panic rant. I'm baaaaa-ack! So my goal changed from surviving to laughing evilly while my character died. Today, I was checking out some weird news. This is specified in Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook. I'm back. It's a word. I'm already half way there, since I conclusivly proved (in Physics class) that gravity actually causes things to slow down and EVENTUALLY GO UP! Outside your body. That was sort of a topic, even though it was sort of random. Because there are an infinite number of people on either side of the spectrum. Then, in an inspired move, my brother talked my mother into letting him sit up front. In any case, she is clearly insane. That dirty little rat. | 13.41 KB, JSON | Humor the crazy person, okay? But I seriously wonder what something written by a senile person would be like. I dunnoI guess I'm just kinda freaked out. 'a' being the shortest side, 'b' being the middle side and 'c' being the longest side of a right angled triangle. If you don't believe that all that air has weight, try going into space sometime. I'm back again! The Official FLaming-Chickens Handbook already confirms that fact! There is a world where you were never born. I gots stuff to do! WE have been having very profound thoughts lately. I only signed up for a semester. I can even see the shadow of my hand on the wall from the light those things shed. And then I'll be writing for me again. No one is really coming here, anyway. Or possibly rightthat would be scary. Sure, some of this "fasion" stuff is cool and all, but all it shows is that you had the three and three-quarters brain cells required to copy someone else's "look". Are you tired. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips in no way wishes harm on your computer. 12083 is a mid length novelette. Pikachu! Fortunatly, my mom recently finnaly switched our snack food preference. d)I already did that in a past life and it sucked. And any weirdness I could come up with would be normal compared to Noodle Boy, soI bid thee farewellseeya! Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. (Actually I just question them untill they spontaneously combust, I ask lots of questions) So, in conclusion, ladies and gentleman of the jury(that's you) I could not have possibly tortured "Mr. Owl" to death. We find the free courses and audio books you need, the language lessons & educational videos you want, and plenty of enlightenment in between. So we were already off to a bad start. Oh, by the way, I noticed that whenever I use spell-check, my stupid computer turns the word probley into to word problem. There was something else I had to tell you loyal *cricket chirps, someone coughs* fans. Pikachuwellhe didn't like me. With an infinite universe, there are infinite possibilites. I am back. It's a small light, but it's sooooooo annoying. OhI'm rambling again, aren't I? As long as I'm happy, right. GRAVITY IS EVIL! They aint whupped us yit, air they? this Jones who after the demon rode away with the regiment when the granddaughter was only eight years old would tell people that he was lookin after Majors place and niggers even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and perhaps in time came to believe the lie himself, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, Well, Kernel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they? who even worked, labored, sweat at the demons behest during that first furious period while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable willing the Sutpens Hundred which he remembered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hopeless-blind Jones who apparently saw still in that furious lecherous wreck the old fine figure of the man who once galloped on the black thoroughbred about that domain two boundaries of which the eye could not see from any point. As you read this Historicly Accurate Anecdote, you must realize the parallel between it and the fable The Emperoro's New Clothes. It just doesn't make any sense. Oh. Hmmmmtime for #3You can obsessive over ANYTHING, and people will think nothing of it. Past editions of The Guinness Book of World Records have listed this record. Because I am easily amused and have lots and lots of time on my hands. You haven't been paying attention have you? I came up with this philosophy when I was in fifth grade. Good. Too bad. I only mention this 'cause I've accidently spelled constipation instead of conspiracy a few times. He can save mankind, and doom Trinity. Keep pressing it. its dark and I want to go home is where the heart was where is it now? Unless he has already been destroyed by an even more radical Anti-Cartoon-Owl group. He acted like he was really being tortured and stuff. YES, I'M YELLING! Now I do. What cruel fate is this? That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! And insanity. He even tried to hide the sword behind his back! It's because of the "evil little faeries with sharp little teeth." Now, those have possibilities. As a member, you'll join us in our effort to support the arts. Or his mom did. It deludes all of American's sweet, innocent, candy-loving children into thinking that a cartoon owl is smarter than they are! I have to wonderwhy would Kodak do such a thing. I spend from 8-5 doing what everyone else wants. It's just sickening, you can't even take a simple photo nowadays. Uhyou don't have to take the subliminal stuff seriously. Why, the assasinating annoying cartoon characters buisness. -actual aids. HmmI seem to be jumping from one subject to another more frequently. There are now longer sentences in English writing. I'd tell it to my little brother as a bed time story. The possibilities are literally endless. Because I do. You KNOW I ran out of imaginary money last week when I bought that imaginary country. Nor can I find it on any search engines. You know the one. It's not like I have anything better to do. . Men, of course, had no complaints. It's pushing down on me, squishing my spine. How did they ever afford an organ-thingy? You gots extra money, don't you? I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE! (Although my mother does have a "earring tree".) And they pushed my toes together. So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. A copy of "Ulysses" pops up in "Green Coaster," the 33-page, single-sentence . Isn't vast a funny word? You mean that I'm just randomly responding regardless of your reactions? Hey, it's the 3 r's! Since I'm not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what is left of your sanity. THey might havve been important, but we keep forgetting them. Meanwhile there is a vast conspiracy at school to keep me ignorant about my pawn roll in the other vast conpiracy by keeping me vastly bored. It takes patience to read, but once you get into the rhythm, its like delving into Faulkners stream of consciousness. It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. *normal voice* Today I have a very important to discuss with you in this: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. He is pure evil. :) Seeya! why must everyone always rhyme, why Im a poet and dont I know it? I'm pretty sure you're not mebut you could be that other guy. If I told you, I'd have to kill you and all that stuff. That's right, folks, mass hypnosis via commercials. I hate Math. And #5: You can give each of your pets several weird names such as: Ringling-Raison-Bailey-Suzana-Midnight-Schultz, Squirell, Moose, Moose-Moose, Moosey-Moose, Linzey-Moose, Muffin, Squirell-Muffin, Yabby-Doodle, Abby Normal, Wiggle-Baby, Wiggle-Muffin, Witle-Baby, Cheese-Monkey, Muffin-With-Squirell-Juice, Squirell-With-Muffin Juice, Moosey-Juice, Squirell-Monkey, etc. I think I hear a monkeyOkaynow I'm back. I love my calculator, though. ME: Yep. I don't want year-round classes. I am so buying this movie when it comes out on DVD. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. There may also be evil little links that are designed to confuse you. Good for it. Anyway, that's my rant on the new generation that contains my little sister. Today was Halloween. I don't think. (Note: I wrote virtually none of this, so I cannot be blamed, credited with any of this. Maybe they're here right now! Sothe plan is going to fail. Then, she accidently woke our three yappy dogs up, and they relized that they were in a car. Thank the powers that be for spell-check. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. NowI bet you're wondering why I don't just wake up a few minutes before I have to go. Okay. The sentence below was found in a legal contract, and was until recently the longest sentence we had seen in an official document. E-mail us for questions, comments, complaints and information. Ya know ya got ya ya girl ya ya know ya ya boy you got caught with them and then ya got a robot in the car with a car in your head that was the best dog ever and you can call me and call him when I wanna is it time I get off work I will see if I gotta I wanna is a time I got a ride truck truck ride and iiiuuyr. The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death, he made a choice. It makes you think of Name-Brand vs. Generic cereal brands. Which is bad. Only if I had multiple personalities. It's also a pretty prime example of how homonyms (words that share spelling and pronunciation but have different meanings) can really confuse things. by the time I had to do my part (tell people where to stand before getting their diploma) it was dark. Whole families would gather around their front door, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out. Then they add other "stuff" in to make it TASTE pure. But I HATE spending three hours of every day in a "class" when everyone else's class is only an hour and a half. Not that I exactly have a word quota for the day. Especially since I don't have viewers. I think. Alrighty then. With a shake, the future is revealed! Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. Anyway, today's rant is about one of my many and various pet peeves: fasion andstuff. It will translate any thing, to anything else. After all, isn't that basicly what the best teachers do? Were also on Pinterest, Tumblr, and Flipboard. We just picked random words in the selection and wrote about them. Perhaps you don't have time to waste e-mailing me. "Purified" water. Did you understand that? Though the record has been broken, Faulkner's legacy lives on. The six longest sentences (1,000+ words) are mostly a curiosity, just to see what is possible. What if, eventually, Earth's gravity get's very very strong, and we all imploud from the squishyness? longest text ever (most deleted bc max 40000 letters) : (. So here it is! My sister. And now, for the million-dollar question: How many calories are there in a single serving of Mustard? BoyI really enjoy confusing myself! I'm still peeved about the cartoon owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercials. The entire message board was like one big insane asylum. But one of my classes is work, and two others are horrible year-round classes. I'll probably have another one soon, but that whole water thing has been buggin me for awhile. You can just bet that they look at every one that get's turned in to them, judging blackmail value, and whether or not you could get arrested. Our "spray" kills over 99.9% of "faeries" (which are much to small to see) Our "spray" also kills most disease causing agents, like rats, or pigeons. You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! WowI really must be bored. And so, in the interest of wasting even more time, I made a list. -works best on pc/laptop. Suprised? I tried to explain. Speaking of publishing, I do plan on somehow, someday publishing this as the first rambling narrative that makes no sense, and is about as interesting as rereading the almanac. Is that too much to ask? *g8ggles* bye. I'm leaving nowI have some destruction to do. WARNING: Leave food sit in an open, well-venilated spot for a week before eating. Did I resume asking retorical questions? I'm back. I love the little tacos, I love them good! Anyway, moving on! We're not sure. or possibly "Who or What is Kodak". As we all know, the world is going to end in about 380,695 days! Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. I SEE WHAT IS TRANSPIRING HERE!!! *cheesy super-hero voice* Well, fear not, random citizen, for I, PSOPC am here! Now, wasn't that a fun list!? So I at least have an excuse for not doing that. It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". It's yours for only 3 bi-monthly payments of $3.95 ($3,95,000 on days ending in "y")Don't forget, Dum-B-Gon is practically guaranteed! With a specific number of words. I'm back. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the. I know where you are right now! I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. I'm an evil villain, kitty and a freakazoid so far. This confirmed my suspicion that she only went so that she could have the use of the church's playground equipment. i felt sorry for my dad. I can just see Hot Dog, and Pizza trucks roaming the neighbor hoods, selling treats to hungry childrenand adults. This page won't get a single hit, unless I bribe peoplenow that has possibilities. That would explain that annoying green little blinkie light in them. So, I've decided that Moose works for some secret government organization, and that the feather is the key to the destruction of the world, and I am just blithely letting it enter our home, so that it may furthur its evil plans to destroy the universe. This would have resulted in the deaths of numerous pedistriansand I would still probably be wondering around in search of a McDonalds. Unless you're bored. But, it ended up making more sense than I anticipated (scary thought, huh). The Patron Saint of Paper Clips (me again!) Later that day, she decided we were NOT going north, we were going south to a beach resort. Why on earth would we go have way across the world to fight them when we didn't even really need oil?!! Open Culture scours the web for the best educational media. Wellbetter goI need to plan this out moreI'm back. A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. And why do I even care? He may have had no intention of inspiring postmodern fiction, but one of its best-known novelists, Barth, only found his voice by first writing a heavily Faulknerian marsh-opera. Many hundreds of experimental writers have had almost identical experiences trying to exorcise the Oxford, Mississippi modernists voice from their prose. 3,861 . Obviously I at least have a computerso, back to the organ grinders. Wouldn't it make more sense to get a kazoo, if you're broke? Number Six: I could have implemented one of several plans for world domination. I even came up with a mathematical explanation for why gambling is fun (while I was eating a hyper-speed dinner, thinking nothing of getting back to the slot machine). The very next day, she decided that we were going north, after all. OkayI can do it. We need to act now! You would have to have several characteristics that I possess. They are the samething, with the same look, and almost same name. We can only hope that the digital camera manufacturers are kinder masters than the evil Kodak Lords. They associated tans with hard, manuel labor. I can just see it nowIt could be called Know-Your-Food. *sniffle* I just want to have some FREAKIN' variety in my daily grind, you know? What would happen when that dreamer woke? *content sigh* There we gothat's much better. Okay. Subliminal messanging also explains the successes of certain fast-food resteraunts, and brand name items. These "faeries" sprinkle your food with highly toxic "age dust" and ruin a perfectly good four-year-old meatloaf. You can read a little each day. I can't think of anything!? According to someone you problem don't know, this is the second most pointless website ever! Are you ready? *giggling* It's very, very late at nite. I'm back. *scrunches eyes and makes funny sounds* Nope. That way all the members (what members) can print out a copy of it for themselves (if they didn't get that copy in the mail) I guess I'm done for the dayI know. THe cake was good. How do you stop them? Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. I sure am. See? No matter how unlikely something is, if the universe is infinite, it's happening an infinite number of times. I have an extra-special rant for you all today, to celebrate the new domain name! She goes crazy if someone holds it, 'cause it's getting attention and not her. Confusing, huh? Creepy. I know. > You have blue hari..*gigles* I like hair. You'd have to be an absolute loser (or really bored) to come here. And then I was unable to get on the computer and I forgot most of it. It was fairly fun. You're only browsing it. Would it vary? afterwardsthey turned off the lights. My dadwas on this site. 17 min ago